It literally is taking each moment to moment. . Things can change in an instant. Especially when you have kids. Especially when you are dealing with infertility. Especially when you are pregnant. Especially in this world we live in. And let’s be real, just in life. . One minute can be going great, the next can be a meltdown or mood change or - “how the F and I going to handle this!” . One minute you realized you forgot something, dropped the ball or plans aren’t going to work

If being and becoming a Mom is a test for your anxiety, worrying and overthinking everything then, it’s the best one there is. And it’s a journey not everyone gets to experience. I definitely took it for granted, I mean... growing up we were told you could easily get pregnant and how careful you had to be. So why wouldn’t you be able to get pregnant on your honeymoon, or as soon as you wanted? Why wouldn’t this be something in life that could be perfectly thought out and pla

Going through hard stuff in your life. It's like falling into a lake. Once you do it you can't go back. You can get dried off but you will always have that experience of falling in. You will associate lakes with fearful thoughts. When you walk up to the edge of the lake you will think about the last time or that one time when you fell in. You can't take back experiences and experiences can shape your future. They can make or break it, they can literally create it. And you get

I said goodbye. I said goodbye to a life that I thought I wanted. To a life that I did want. To a life that I worked so hard to get. To make happen. Everything I envisioned, I created. I said goodbye to an amazing place and an adventure for a new life I wanted to create. For a new little actual human life I knew in my heart was on the way. Sometimes we have to say goodbye to what we thought we wanted. To what we needed. To what we needed in order to get to where we are now. S

I posted this exact pic on my vision board. . And then I saw it come to life. Probably about three years ago, after we lost our first pregnancy. It seemed too good to be true. I was just about to turn 35, we were celebrating our ONE year wedding anniversary in a few months and we got pregnant on vacation ! . . Then you hear the words “sorry there is no heartbeat”. And your heart breaks. It breaks over and over and over again with every passing month. Every month with a negati

Yes, I actually wrote that title... it's not the one that came with the template. Been thinking a lot lately about WHY - and the why things happen. I've done a lot of "why me's" in my lifetime. And a lot of those were recent in the last few years. Dealing with #infertility there were a lot of "why the fuck is this happening to ME!"'s. And in times like these no one wants to hear "Everything happens for a reason". PAHlease. When you are hurting, and grieving and sad and dealin

With a positive pregnancy test and a viable pregnancy, Infertility is cured right? All your pain goes away, you reached your end goal and never have to think about it again. ... Think again... This is the day after we found out we were pregnant. I sat on the couch for about 3 days straight waiting for the phone call from Main Line Fertility just like all the other days in the three months prior, waiting for embryo reports, waiting for test results, waiting for blood work, wai