If being and becoming a Mom is a test for your anxiety, worrying and overthinking everything then, it’s the best one there is. And it’s a journey not everyone gets to experience.
I definitely took it for granted, I mean... growing up we were told you could easily get pregnant and how careful you had to be. So why wouldn’t you be able to get pregnant on your honeymoon, or as soon as you wanted? Why wouldn’t this be something in life that could be perfectly thought out and pla
The buildup to having a baby is a big one. The wait. The excitement, the anticipation. It’s a life change, a momentous event. And then the buildup to having a baby when you waited years and went through infertility treatments is even more of a climb. Like hiking up a mountain, without water on no sleep, in the dark… sans flashlight. That kind of climb. And then you get to the top the instant the sun peaks over the mountain and illuminates the whole sky. And you feel that acco
The Surprises. The expectations. And visa versa. Everyone has expectations of what they think this is going to be like, right? Motherhood, being a parent. A lot of the excited expectedness was all the fun times. The zoo, the birthday parties, the laughter, the love. And of course you think about the crying and the diapers and all the hard stuff. Obviously it's going to be hard. And especially when you are an #infertilitywarrior , when you suffered for years #ttc . And you kno
I said goodbye. I said goodbye to a life that I thought I wanted. To a life that I did want. To a life that I worked so hard to get. To make happen. Everything I envisioned, I created. I said goodbye to an amazing place and an adventure for a new life I wanted to create. For a new little actual human life I knew in my heart was on the way. Sometimes we have to say goodbye to what we thought we wanted. To what we needed. To what we needed in order to get to where we are now. S
I don’t care about the mess. Because that’s how it is now. And it bothers me some but not enough to take me out. Or to miss out. If being a parent is a test of your anxiety level, patience and second guessing every single thing you do… then it’s a damn good one if I ever saw. I had lots of ideas what I thought this would be like: MOTHERHOOD. The cute stuff, the fluff, the perfect pictures. The birthday parties, playing with barbies and family gatherings. And that’s the thing
I posted this exact pic on my vision board. . And then I saw it come to life. Probably about three years ago, after we lost our first pregnancy. It seemed too good to be true. I was just about to turn 35, we were celebrating our ONE year wedding anniversary in a few months and we got pregnant on vacation ! . . Then you hear the words “sorry there is no heartbeat”. And your heart breaks. It breaks over and over and over again with every passing month. Every month with a negati