Written: January 7th 2015
Such a lovely place. Such a lonely place. Yeah I know those aren’t the words. But they are mine. So let’s preface this by stating I’ve had the song ‘Hotel California‘ in my head since I got to Hawaii. Don’t ask… I have no idea. So my plane landed on January 31st around 2:30pm, but I “landed” about a month or so ago. Like… really got here, got connected, got grounded. Just like when you are anywhere you can be there but not really BE there. Example: You get to a party — you take your coat off, put your purse down, say hi… see who’s there, say hi… hi, how are you, how are you? Hugs, kisses, where the hell is the wine?? Finally get a drink in your hand, stop thinking about how you sat in traffic, parked far away, are late, what everyone said about you before you got there, your outfit, breathe, take a sip and BOOM you’re finally there. Right!? You get it. Landed.
Those times in life when you are blissful. When you look around you and think ‘wow, life is fucking good.’ Where you are truly connected with yourself, with life and love and the universe. And you feel perfectly centered, just living, out of your head. In awe, peace, joy. Time, there is no concept. Where you are, who you’re with, what you’re doing. I’ve had plenty of “Fuck yes to Life” moments in my life for sure, and especially since I’ve been to Hawaii. But what causes that to re-occur? Something you have control over? Or is it just love, feeling true love and being and living it. LOVE is not something you have or posses, it’s something you are. And with love there is no fear.
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“‘Fear is nothing but absence of love. Do something with love, forget about fear. If you love well, fear disappears.’ It is like darkness. Darkness does not exist it only appears to be. In fact it is just an absence of light. Light exists; remove the light — there is darkness.” – Osho, Courage; The Joy of Living Dangerously (pg 63)
Picture a blissful moment — a lot of mine occur up the mountains. From the time I was young, til recent. But mostly on the lake, in the sunlight late, sun… set. Going down but still warm and bright and sparkling off the lake. Bright sky reflectant of a joyful day, but grey clouds creating depth and meaning. One of the reasons I fell in love with Hawaii was just that, the sky, the clouds and the mountains, all wrapped up in the perfect moment. Usually with family and friends surrounding – the person and people you love, great music, drinks (of course), outside… So lying on the beach exactly that, sunsetting sparkling off the Pacific Ocean. Dark grey clouds left over from a passing storm creating expansion. Live music playing in the background. Even being physically 4,908 miles away from my usual creation of bliss, it didn’t make me feel lonely, but connected. Grateful for love, family, friends… the life I created, where I came from, my whole existence.
So what is it then that creates such a phenomenon? Is it just feeling love and being loved? But mostly being real and authentic and completely YOU. Or maybe the lack of fear and completely just trusting. I’m still trying to figure it out. And the first little sip of wine helped that day, as it always does. But instead of feeling so far away I felt so close, and perfect and complete. And then the band in the background started playing …. Welcome to the Hotel California . Landed.